The Inner Childhood Narrative (ICN) is the template forged in the attachment cycle of childhood that will guide how we manage stress throughout our lives. As parents, we are often are unaware of how to support a healthy ICN in ourselves and our kids. So, where do we begin?

What is the 'Inner Childhood Narrative' ICN?

The "Inner Childhood Narrative" ICN, is the script we use to understand ourselves, others, and the world. Forged in childhood, the ICN is the result of our early attachment experiences and is incredibly impactful, whether we know recognize or not, on our ability to cope with stress and interact with others.

ICN gives us a place to start as it describes the outcome of one's primary caregiving experience that shaped the script as we sought 'felt safety' and connection. It conditioned us to develop certain strategies and belief systems that often hinder our authenticity and confidence in adulthood.

Our ICN was developed as we concluded our sense of worth as we experienced the cycle of needs throughout early childhood. We carry these conclusions with us as copying patterns and guideposts for living.

There are many risk factors that can distort the ICN in childhood such as a stressful prenatal experience, a traumatic or difficult birth, early hospitalization &/or painful procedures, loss of a caregiver (death, adoption, divorce, illness, foster care, incarceration, etc.,) abuse, physical and emotional neglect, and complex developmental trauma.

Understanding your ICN and its origins, is the first step in self-awareness and in the identification maladaptive coping patterns and false beliefs that may be keeping you from living your best life as your authentic self.

Without doing this healing work, many are trapped in the brokenness of childhood stories, unable to free themselves or connect to others in a healthy and genuine way. Sadly, many mothers tell me that they find themselves being reactive, angry, and sad in their parenting role and know it is somehow connected to their own childhood but are unsure how to stop the cycle.

It has been my life's work as a therapist to help children, and

'adult children' recognize and transform their ICN so that they

can break free from limiting beliefs and find new ways to connect to themselves, to others, and to their stories.

It is my goal to help others understand that its not only what happens in childhood, but how we made sense of what happened, that matters. Like our own personal dragon, we can transform the power of our Inner Childhood Narrative, if we can first name it and tame it.

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Hi...

I'm Susan Parker Jones

As a seasoned counselor and Mom, I am confident in my strategies to help children and families, but I wasn't always. I recall feeling lost as I tried to meet the needs of my kids and those I served. What I came to recognize was that my own childhood story was influencing my mindset and reactivity.

I've learned so much over the years as both a Clinician and Adoptive Mom about how to connect with myself and my children in meaningful ways so we both can be equipped to recover from childhood's "hard places." I've learned that its not only about what happens in childhood, but how each of us makes sense of what happens, that matters.

There are no perfect parents and most of us are just trying to survive one day at a time. If you're like me, you love your kids and want nothing more than to know you've raised them well. Their pain is your pain and you would do anything to help them get to adulthood with their authenticity intact.

I wrote The Wholehearted Child to empower adults to develop greater harmony within themselves, as well as the children in their lives, with an approach that applies ancient Enneagram wisdom to modern parenting challenges. It is possible to help your child heal from the "hard places" and step into adulthood knowing they are brave and worthy of love and belonging. Let me show you how.

Jerome Wagner, Ph.D.

Susan Parker Jones has written a very reasoned, empathic, practical book about children and parenting. She knows the Enneagram well and it clearly informs her therapy practice. Susan has a light-hearted sensitive touch to her writing. No shaming; just explaining. For parents who want to
understand the Enneagram and their children, The Wholehearted Child is well worth a read.

-Jerome Wagner, Ph.D., (Honorary International Enneagram Association Founder)