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Building Resilience: Teaching Children Nervous System Regulation for Healing Trauma


When children experience significant life changes like divorce, adoption, or other forms of childhood trauma, their emotional well-being can be deeply affected. As professionals and parents, it is crucial to prioritize their healing journey by addressing the fundamental aspect of regulating their nervous system. By teaching children effective strategies to regulate their nervous system, we lay a strong foundation for their overall well-being, enabling them to process and cope with their story and trauma more effectively. In this blog post, we will explore the importance of teaching children ways to regulate their nervous system before delving into the facts of their experiences, allowing them to build resilience and foster a healthier healing process.


Understanding the Nervous System:


The nervous system plays a pivotal role in how we respond to stress and trauma. When children encounter challenging situations, their nervous system can become dysregulated, leading to heightened anxiety, fear, or even dissociation. By understanding the different states of the nervous system, we can guide children towards a regulated and balanced state, which is essential for processing their experiences effectively.


Importance of Regulating the Nervous System:

  1. Emotional Stability: Before delving into the details of a child's story or trauma, it is vital to help them stabilize their emotional state. Teaching them strategies to regulate their nervous system, such as deep breathing, grounding exercises, or mindfulness techniques, empowers them to manage their emotions, reducing the risk of overwhelming distress during the healing process.

  2. Enhanced Cognitive Functioning: An agitated or dysregulated nervous system impairs a child's ability to think clearly and make sound decisions. By focusing on regulating their nervous system first, we help children improve their cognitive functioning and enhance their problem-solving skills, enabling them to navigate their trauma with increased clarity and resilience.

  3. Increased Self-Awareness: Regulating the nervous system requires children to develop a deeper understanding of their own emotions and bodily sensations. By teaching them to recognize and name these experiences, we empower them to cultivate self-awareness, fostering a stronger connection between their thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. This heightened self-awareness is a vital tool for processing their trauma effectively.

Strategies for Nervous System Regulation:

  1. Deep Breathing: Encourage children to practice deep, slow breaths, inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth. Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting a sense of calm and relaxation.

  2. Grounding Exercises: Teach children grounding techniques such as focusing on their senses, noticing five things they can see, four things they can touch, three things they can hear, two things they can smell, and one thing they can taste. Grounding exercises help children stay present in the moment and prevent dissociation.

  3. Mindfulness and Meditation: Introduce age-appropriate mindfulness and meditation practices that help children cultivate present-moment awareness, reduce anxiety, and enhance their capacity for self-regulation.

  4. Physical Activity: Engaging in regular physical activity and exercise can help regulate the nervous system by releasing endorphins, reducing stress hormones, and promoting overall well-being. Encourage children to participate in activities they enjoy, such as dancing, sports, or yoga.


As professionals and parents supporting children through divorce, adoption, or other forms of childhood trauma, it is vital to prioritize nervous system regulation as a foundational step in their healing process. By teaching children effective strategies to regulate their nervous system, we equip them with the tools necessary to manage their emotions, enhance cognitive functioning, and cultivate self-awareness. Remember, building resilience is a gradual process, and investing time in teaching children these essential skills will empower them to navigate their traumatic experiences with strength and courage, paving the way for a wholehearted life!



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